A girl needs answers to THREE very important questions from their dads.
The answers aren’t just verbal, they are how a dad shows up as well.
Communication is key both verbally and non-verbally.
What you DO as a dad means more than what you SAY, although both are important.
If you say one thing, but do another, your daughter will remember your ACTION more so than your words.
A daddy daughter relationship should be treasured.
Dads are the standard against which their daughters will not only view the world, but will judge all men.
How a daughter seeks attention from boys, and later her husband, is directly correlated to how she gets attention from her dad.
The career path she chooses is also influenced by her relationship with her dad. The relationship between a dad and daughter is powerful.
A dad’s dream/hope is for their daughter to grow up happy, confident, and strong.
It all starts with how we answer these three questions daily.
It doesn’t matter if you think you are a bad dad, think you are a good dad, or think you are an awesome dad, these questions are easy to miss even with the greatest intentions. (you will hear me say this this often).
I have said this before, and I will say it again and again because it is that important…..A relationship between a dad and daughter is completely different than a relationship between a mom and daughter.
Both are equally important, yet different.
With a mother, the love and nurturing is there…it’s expected….the daughters know.
With a dad, they need more and long for more. We must meet these needs and model those needs consistently if we want them to grow up happy, confident, and strong, as I stated earlier.
Let’s dive into the questions.
What do you think of me (how do you feel about me)?
It’s important for your daughter to know this answer. Are you proud of them? What is it about their character or values that you are proud of?
Don’t just tell them they are beautiful. Beauty goes deeper than that. Society puts enough pressure on girls regarding beauty.
Of course you want to tell them they are beautiful (because they are), but don’t stop there.
Knowing who they are and focused on their character helps them build confidence and to embrace their individuality.
Helping them embrace their individuality and having a firm foundation of who they are will make a world a difference in their teen years.
Help them understand who they are.
Do you get me?
What do I mean by “Do you get me?”
Do you understand her? Do you understand who they are?
Do you understand that sometimes they are going to get emotional for “no reason?”
They will get a little “crazy” sometimes. Girls and women are more emotional, these are part of the package.
Women wear their emotions more on their sleeves, whereas guys are taught to stuff down their emotions.
Can your daughters come to you for anything? I mean absolutely anything?
Can they come to you, and are you allowing them the opportunity to come to you?
Women seek safety and security. Men, we usually get this wrong. We think of safety and security as physical protection. But they need emotional safety more than anything.
Again, can they come to you for anything?
Can they come to you and you just LISTEN?
Can they come to you without trying to FIX, SOLVE, CRITICIZE, or GET OVER IT?
They want you to EMPATHIZE with them.
They can find a solution on their own. Many times, they just want to vent and get past it.
When we constantly try to fix, they lose confidence because they don’t know how to solve problems on their own.
They lose confidence in us as well.
They don’t need fixing. They just want to be HEARD!
They want to be UNDERSTOOD!
Sometimes, they don’t even know why they are being emotional, especially teen girls.
Stop trying to fix and BE THERE for them.
Love them through the struggle.
Love without expectations.
Love without projecting your beliefs on them.
Be there for them. If they want a solution from you, they will ask.
Ladies, if you are reading (or watching) and agree with what I said about what you all NEED, give me a HELL YEAH!!
By the way, the only reason I know this about girls is because my daughter Kailee has taught me.
Otherwise, I’d still be screwing this up (I still do from time to time).
What are your hopes for me? What are your dreams and aspirations for me?
Do you have high hopes for your daughter?
Do you believe in them?
Ultimately, we want them to be happy, strong, and confident, but are we COMMUNICATING this EFFECTIVELY to them?
“Do you believe in me dad?” Give them a clear answer with your actions and your words.
We are the model dads…..We are the standard against which our daughters will judge all men and the world.
If we are not giving them the right amount of attention, showing them respect (or our spouses and significant others), they are learning what to seek from other boys and future husbands.
I don’t care if you think you’re a horrible dad, you think you’re an ok dad, you think you’re a good or a great dad, there is ALWAYS room to grow.
I hear this all the time “I’m good, I don’t need to do anything.”
That is a dangerous place to be. When you get comfortable, you will end up going down the wrong path.
Something very subtle can derail you, leaving you to wonder “what the heck happened?”
We always need to learn and grow. We can always learn something new everyday.
I learn something new everyday with Kailee because I do not want to go down the path I was before. I will not go back down that path.
I seek growth every single day.
Take an honest inventory of yourself and reflect on these questions……Do you answer these questions?
Actually, you answer these questions regardless. The better question is, are you intentional about answering these questions in the most effective way possible to ensure your daughters success when she grows up?
If you are doing a good job at answering the questions in a way that builds your daughters up, where can you get better?
Ask yourself empowering questions…..
What can you do better in these areas?
Are your actions in line with what you are communicating to your daughter verbally?
If this has served you in some way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.
Hearing your wins is what fuels my passion, so please reach out.
Also, please share this with dads who could benefit from seeing (or watching) this.
Have an awesome day!
Be “The Model Dad!”